Worth Far More Than Rubies
'She carries goodness in her hands
Strength woven quietly into her days
Her home rests in the shelter of her care
Early rising, wise in work
Faithful in every task
She gives freely to the poor
Wraps her household in warmth
Walks clothed in dignity
Wisdom shapes her words
Steadiness guides her steps
Her children bless her name
Her husband praises her worth
Charm may dazzle, beauty may fade
The woman who honours the Lord
She is worth far more than rubies.'
Honour her for all that her hands have done, and let her
works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31:10-31 NIV'
Before I share my thoughts on the verses above, I’d want to use this medium to encourage anyone that may be reading this and going through any kind of abuse, to speak up and to seek help.
You will be heard; you will be comforted and you will be supported. You are not alone as you may have allowed yourself to believe. You carry visible and invisible scars but believe me when I say many wear the same scars; some may have their scars well-hidden, others may have it out there for the world to see but whichever way the scars are worn, the power and strength survivors wield is what they use to make a difference such as encouraging others to speak up cause they've got you.
Every survivor was saved by another survivor, you need to survive to be able to save another. Your experience domestic abuse is one that must have a purpose, what better purpose than being able to save another.
Every survivor of abuse in my humble opinion is a superhero 💪
I pray you’ll be able to find support and gather enough strength to seek help.
‘And when Jesus saw her, he called her to
him, and said unto her, Woman, thou art loosed from thine infirmity.
Luke 13:12 KJVAE’
There is help out there to understand what domestic abuse is, just in case you still have doubts on what you are going through
and there is also support available to you should you seek it.To give some context to my write up today and why I mentioned abuse - it's no longer hidden that the church, just as much as culture can be complicit or even a factor that continues to put individuals at a higher risk of domestic abuse.
Just this past week, there’s been one too many distressing news about victims of domestic abuse, and one that hit hard was that of a relatively well-known Nigerian gospel singer who had passed away allegedly after suffering abuse. Of course, everyone including myself had something to say. I wasn't shocked when it was reported that religion may have played a role in her staying with her alleged abuser probably due to the limited advice and support she probably sought and received.
I'm sure every church goer or anyone with some biblical knowledge, would be familiar with the story of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31. "Who can find her?" Mothers teach their daughters to be 'her'; pastors tell their female congregation they must be 'her' - this virtuous woman is so scarce and hard to find that some men go off on a hunt for this virtuous woman who apparently is as mythical as a Unicorn.
As much as I hate to admit it, I personally find listening to anyone quoting these particular verses very irritating, not the bible verses themselves but different interpretation of it and how they have repeatedly used it to manipulate women to stay on in their abusive marriages.
There is no woman in my world that I don't consider spiritual, capable, intelligent or virtuous and I don't have to waste my time on a hunt to find her. I'm surrounded by them everywhere I turn.
Every woman is far more precious than rubies and I'd say well done 👏 to anyone who has the good sense of seeing those qualities in themselves and in the women around them.
We all want to be like the virtuous woman, we
all are like her already.
One of the verses above reads - '...Her husband is
respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the
land.'
Now, if the husband who obviously is seeking to be amongst respected elders (for example, pastors) is an abuser, does that not put a stain on the respected elders especially if they knew and turn a blind eye to the abuse they suspected or even knew was happening? If you turn a blind eye to abuse, you are just as guilty.
'Blessed is the one who does not walk in
step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the
company of mockers,
Psalms 1:1 NIV'
‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and
receives favour from the Lord.’
Proverbs 18:22 NIV
A man who recognises and appreciates that woman, will then obtain favour from God. That appreciation is what was depicted in verses 28-29 of Proverbs 31, where the husband arose and called his wife ‘blessed’. A good man is respected amid his peers and elders for the simple reason that he honours his wife for all that she has done. I repeat a good man deserving of respect, honours his wife for all she has done. If men begin to call out each other for ill-treating their wives and are denied a seat amongst other respectable men, maybe then we can begin to see some silver lining in these dark clouds of domestic abuse.
I wondered why a Ruby was the gemstone of choice to compare to the strength of a woman in the text in Proverbs 31 so, I looked up the properties of a ruby and discovered that apart from this precious gemstone being well known for its physical characteristics such as it's vibrant red colour and exceptional hardness, it is also a symbol of power, protection and passion. It is therefore no wonder that it was the choice of comparison to the strength of a woman. A comparison made by a king (author of Proverbs 31) who had allowed his mother's teaching to touch his heart so much he had to praise women.
Call to action: Parents, raise kind-hearted, strong-minded and God-fearing children who will allow the continual renewal of their mind, so that they can test and always discern what the will of God is, what is good, acceptable and perfect.
Lots of love
Ige