The first thing I remembered when I woke up this morning was a poem I had been taught in primary school: My Mother by Ann Taylor.
It was taught as a song and I kept singing it repeatedly in
my head, couldn’t sing it out loud as I wanted my little munchkins to think I
didn’t even remember it was Mother’s Day.
They never fail to surprise me pleasantly any chance they
get and all I wanted to do was carry on as if I did not know they were planning
something.
I have read many amazing messages from people and comments
on social media. One in particular, stuck with me: “a mother can play any role, but her
role is one that no one else can play”
This made me pause and think of how important the relationship
between a mother and a child is, and I include anyone that has stepped into
that role: dads, aunts, grandparents, guardians, anyone who provides the tender
nurturing that can soothe, heal and help develop a confident, strong,
considerate but also a compassionate human.
I learn from my kids every day and I can say it took me a
while to admit this especially to myself. My type of upbringing gave me that
sense that I had to appear to always be in control to firmly keep them in line.
I had to unlearn all that, I had to watch and listen and the first lesson I learnt
was that each one of them was different, they possessed different strengths, abilities,
temperaments and faced different challenges.
Understanding their individuality helped improve our
relationship. Parents do not have to wait till kids are teenagers before they are allowed to have a voice, lay the groundwork early for those years that may, or may not, prove to be hard work.
I have heard many times from other mothers, “parenting
does not come with a manual”, that's right, you must follow your instinct and do what
you believe is right by your little ones. I tell myself that parents are all
employed by the same boss, God.
He gave us charge over these ones to guide them through this
journey called life and equip them with the necessary tools to navigate it successfully.
So, to succeed requires team effort, parents who are patient and willing to
listen while steering their kids right, as best as they can, not parents barking
orders at their children and expecting no form of resistance. No follower likes a harsh team leader, success comes if you
can learn to work together, i.e., parents listening to their kids and kids
listening to their parents. Even the bible supports this:
“Children obey
your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
Honour your
father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),
“that it may go
well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
“Fathers, do
not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline
and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6 1:4
I love hearing what my kids have to say, it does make me
laugh a lot which I enjoy but I figured out if I wanted them to really listen
to what I tell them, then I must be willing and ready to listen to them. This
has benefitted all of us, just sitting together at the kitchen table and giving
our views on different topics help us to listen, disagree intelligently, consider
each other’s point of view and just enjoy each other’s company. In doing that,
I know they are learning some important values.
I love listening to them pray as well, they pray for
everyone! Lol! I wait patiently as they reel off the names of family, friends, teachers,
school friends, neighbours, my work colleagues, my boss, everyone we know, even
Boris Johnson and his crew are not missed out, that one cracks me up every time! Why does it have
to be Boris Johnson and His crew? They make it sound like a music band!😂
I’ve learnt I don’t need to act so unnecessarily tough
around them anymore because they know for a fact I am a warrior, a survivor of
many battles (now, I believe everyone is a survivor of one battle or the other)
and that knowledge, plus them knowing their warrior mum can also be vulnerable
at times, gives them the true understanding of strength, strength they know they
can always draw from.
I can go on and on, listing ways I am changed and a better
person because I allowed myself to be taught by my kids. It’s humbling yet,
utterly amazing. I am not like any other mother and I do not wish to be, because
that places unnecessary pressures on you. Nothing wrong in taking a leaf out of
other Mom’s life lessons but mould it to fit yourself and your kids. Do not
force them to be someone they are not but rather, help them to be the best that they can be.
I love the kind of mom I have been fashioned myself to be because I understand the magnitude of the job at hand and I do not want to fail my boss, God. Motherhood journey requires continuous professional development so I'm looking forward to what the future will bring, without fear but with hope and trust in God's faithfulness.
To all the Mothers: Your works will praise you.
Love always
Ige